75-10-B1
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Boondoggles' Foe
TranscriptA bill going through Congress may put an end to some of the silly projects your money is being wasted on. I'll be right back. The Federal government recently spent half a million dollars to find out that when people are angry, stop smoking or hear loud noises, they clench their jaws. Yes it was one of those studies approved by the National Science Foundation. The researcher, Roland Hutchison of Kalamazoo State Hospital in Michigan spent seven years working his way through the study of wasps, boa constrictors, rats and monkeys before he got to human beings. Among his findings was that monkeys, quote, "Became angry when they were shocked and would try to get away from the shock." Unquote. He also learned, at taxpayer expense, that drunk monkeys do not usually react as quickly or as often as sober monkeys, and that hungry monkeys get angry more quickly than well-fed monkeys. When he got to people Mr. Hutchison discovered, quote, "That people get angry when they feel cheated and tend to clench their jaws or even scream and kick." Unquote. I couldn't be happier to hear that! For a while there I was beginning to think I might be a monkey. Are you sick of hearing stories of your money being spent on projects of this stripe? Well so was Congressman Robert Bauman, a young second-termer from Maryland. When the National Science Foundation's annual budget was up for approval recently, Bob Bauman proposed an amendment requiring the Foundation to provide the Congress with a 30-day notice of proposed grants during which period either the Senate or the House would have the chance to pass a resolution vetoing any grant. Any grants not disapproved by either chamber would become effective after the 30 days. In support of his amendment Congressman Bauman cited complaints his office had received concerning such grants as, quote, six thousand dollars to study Polish bisexual frogs, seventy thousand to study the smell of perspiration given off by Australian aborigines and 2.6 million to study the sex life of crabs. Unquote. Miracles will happen even in the 94th Congress, Bob Bauman's amendment passed the House by 212-199 the National Science Foundation was somewhat stunned by this development. It wasn't so much that they thought many of their grants would be vetoed should the amendment become law, it's just that the mere threat of a veto would have prevented many of the more absurd projects from ever being approved in the first place. So they beat a path to their friends on the Senate side hoping to stop the Bauman Amendment there. Fortunately for them the chairman of the relevant subcommittee is a friend of theirs, Senator Edward Kennedy. He called the Bauman Amendment an attempt, quote, "By members of Congress to act as censors." Unquote. Then the Senator attempted to prevent Congressman Bauman from appearing before the subcommittee, which of course wasn't censorship. Other committee members intervened in Bauman's behalf, still the amendment faces rough going in the Senate. If you're tired of seeing your tax dollar used to invade the privacy of bisexual frogs and amorous crabs, you might write your senators urging passage of the Bauman Amendment to the National Science Foundation appropriation. This is Ronald Reagan. Thanks for listening. |
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