78-11-B8
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Accidents
TranscriptI hope you're in the mood for some laughs and no serious discussion of taxation, inflation, stagflation or the state of the nation. I'll be right back. Automobile accidents are no laughing matter, indeed they're serious and too often tragic, but someone has found a lighter side, if that's possible. By way of the Toronto Sun, comes a list of quotations from insurance or accident forms. These are the statements all too many of us have had to make when we fill out a form summarizing exactly what happened in an accident. I thought you might enjoy hearing some of the more imaginative ones. There is for example the man who explained, "Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have." or the fellow who wrote, "I thought my window was down but found out it was up when I put my hand through it." This one should give you something to think about, "I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way." Another fella said, "My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle." and "The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end." Now you'd think Ralph Nader would do something about those reckless telephone poles. But just suppose you're an insurance claims adjuster. It's Monday morning. You've had a nice weekend at the beach and now you sit down at your desk faced with a stack of reports such as these. "A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face." "The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him." "I was on my way to the doctors with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident." "A pedestrian hit me and went under my car." "I told the police I wasn't injured but on removing my hat I found that I had a skull fracture." "The pedestrian had no idea which way to go, so I ran over him." Now you'll have to admit that shows a certain ability to make quick decisions, just as this next one reveals a compassionate nature. "I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car." "The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth." Now this next fella must like to bet on sure things. He reports, "I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the roadway when I struck him." Here's another one of those telephone poles only this time the pole isn't to blame. "In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole." Detroit's gonna have to do something about cars that failed to communicate. One victim reports, "The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions." And finally, "I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation, with injuries." My time's up, I'm leaving immediately without injuries, I hope. This is Ronald Reagan. |
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